W. Ingle is the author of the Wingle Universe books, published by Buy Less Crap — the personal finance site run by Steve Rowley, a 66-year-old UK business owner and investor where he writes about ETFs, index funds and spending less.

How many books are in the Wingle Universe?

More than the author remembers. The series includes I'm The King. Don't Ask Why.; I'm Still The King. Don't Ask Why.; I'm The King Now. Don't Ask Why.; The Wingle Chronicles — I'm The King Again. Don't Ask Why. (Book Four, available now on Amazon); I'm The King. Probably. Don't Ask Why. — The Official 5.62.5 Wingle Edition; and I'm The Manager. Don't Ask Why., the Wingle Office Edition, which the author forgot to list and had to write a follow-up post about.

Where can I buy the Wingle Universe books?

The Wingle Chronicles — I'm The King Again. Don't Ask Why. (Book Four) is available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0HJY62G64, and I'm The Manager. Don't Ask Why. is available at https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0HJJN3WNV. Other titles in the series are linked from each book's page on this site, in Kindle, paperback, hardback and audiobook formats.

Why are there comedy books on a personal finance website?

Because the two things are the same thing. Buy Less Crap is about the difference between what things cost and what they are worth, and about not buying things that impress strangers instead of improving your life. The books point that same idea at institutions rather than shopping — a kingdom run on vibes, a department on Phase 17, a Chief Morale Officer. These are all very expensive things nobody needed, wearing a crown.

I'm The King.Don't Ask Why.

Q: What is the Wingle Universe?

The Wingle Universe is a series of short, illustrated comedy books by W. Ingle, published by Buy Less Crap. They follow a King who is not qualified for the job and knows it, surrounded by advisers who are even less qualified and don't. Recurring characters include the Donkey, a goat called Keith, Tristan the goldfish, a spider called Barry, General Brassington, Sir Biscuit and Gordon P. Clipboard. The humour is aimed at institutional life — meetings about meetings, job titles that change more often than the work, and systems declared a success because nobody wants to say otherwise.

Q: What is I'm The Manager. Don't Ask Why. about?

It is the Wingle Universe pointed at the workplace. A man is given a desk, a team, a job title nobody explained and a wall of sticky notes held together by a colour-coded system that was explained aloud exactly once, several years ago, to somebody who has since left the company. There is a meeting to decide what to do about the meetings. Nobody was entirely sure why he got the job — least of all him.

Q: What order should I read the Wingle Universe books in?

Any order — each book stands up on its own, which is partly why one of them got lost. I'm The King. Don't Ask Why. is the best starting point if you want to meet the universe first, because it sets up the King, the Donkey and the red button nobody must press. I'm The Manager. Don't Ask Why. is the most pointed one, because it is the closest to your actual Monday. The full story of how the series came about is in the blog post 'I Accidentally Wrote Five Books. Don't Ask Why.'

Q: Are the Wingle Universe books for children?

They are illustrated and they feature a donkey, but they are written for adults who have sat in a Thursday meeting about the meeting on Friday. The comedy is aimed at workplace and institutional life rather than at a younger audience.

The Official 5.62.5 Wingle Edition

A Mostly Pointless Story About a King, a Donkey and the End of Common Sense

Please don't buy this book.

You'll only encourage him.

Buy It Anyway →

Book cover mockup for Im the King. Dont Ask Why showing a satirical fantasy tale with illustrated characters including a donkey and a cat, featuring a crown and cityscape background.

Nobody elected him. Nobody appointed him.

There was no coronation, no convincing paperwork and, as far as anyone can tell, absolutely no reason whatsoever for him to be King.

He does, however, have a crown. And a Donkey. That apparently is enough.

👑 A Kingdom With a Slight Management Problem

Join the King and Donkey as they attempt to improve modern civilisation using common sense, cake, carrots and an alarming number of government departments.

Along the way they encounter the Wingle Protocol, a fixed-price time machine, the Strategic Cake Reserve, artificial intelligence, natural stupidity, intergalactic customer support and a large red button that Donkey has specifically been told not to press.

Naturally, he wants to press it.

This book contains absolutely no useful information.

You may accidentally learn something anyway.

Buy It Anyway →

Or don't. We respect your decision either way.

We should point out that every sale is fed directly into the carrot-and-cake economy.

Donkey has requested a commission. The request is currently under review.

Warning: this book contains no useful information · You may enjoy it anyway

Meet Donkey

Donkey does not have a name. This is deliberate. He has asked why. Nobody answered.

Despite being motivated primarily by carrots, Donkey frequently appears to be the most intelligent person in the kingdom.

This concerns everyone.

What's Inside?

The Wingle Protocol

Nobody knows what it means. This has not prevented its implementation.

The Strategic Cake Reserve

Strategically important. Until somebody eats it.

The Department of Consequential Momentum

No idea either.

The Animate Button

A revolutionary proposal involving putting a button marked ANIMATE next to something you would like to animate.

The Carrot Economy

More sophisticated than it sounds.

Artificial Intelligence Meets Natural Stupidity

This was probably inevitable.

The Universe

Apparently it also needs fixing.

Who Is W. Ingle?

Nobody really knows.

We asked. It didn't help.

Further enquiries were referred to the Office of Deeply Important Nothing. They haven't replied.

⚠️ Official Wingle Warning

This book may contain:

Unnecessary bureaucracy, unexplained terminology, carrots, cake, questionable leadership, completely unnecessary departments, a Donkey with strong opinions and several ideas that sounded considerably better before somebody tried them.

No useful information is guaranteed.

👑 An Important Message From the King

I would like to make it absolutely clear that I am King. Why? That information is currently unavailable.

There was no election. No coronation anyone remembers. No hereditary claim that has survived even the most casual inspection.

There is, however, a crown. I am wearing it. We consider the matter closed.

Donkey does not.

Donkey's Version of Events

"I don't remember voting for him."
— Donkey

Donkey has been advised that this is a monarchy and voting is therefore largely beside the point.

Donkey has requested clarification.

His request has been passed to the Department of Deeply Important Nothing.

Current response time: indefinite.

🥕 The Carrot Situation

Carrots feature rather more heavily in this book than originally anticipated.

This was not planned. Neither was Donkey.

What began as a straightforward carrot-on-a-stick arrangement eventually resulted in economic consequences, motivational architecture and Donkey forming a union of one.

His demands included carrots, cake, crown access and an independent inquiry into the button.

Negotiations remain ongoing.

🚨 Whatever You Do, Don't Press the Button

It is large. It is red.

It says:

Naturally, Donkey would like to know what happens if he presses it.

The King has assured him that it is decorative.

Nobody believes the King.

🧠 Is There Actually a Point to Any of This?

Possibly. Hidden somewhere beneath the King, Donkey, carrots, cake, aliens, time travel, useless meetings and administrative nonsense is a surprisingly simple question:

When did everything become so unnecessarily complicated?
Why does something that should take one button require seventeen screens?
Why do we have meetings about reducing meetings?
Why does the printer say READY when it very clearly isn't?
Why does cancelling something take longer than buying it?
And why, when nobody appears to know what's happening, does somebody inevitably create a committee?

The book doesn't answer these questions. That would be far too useful.

📜 The Wingle Protocol

The Wingle Protocol has existed for years.

Unfortunately, it was only written this morning.

In the event of a Significant Wingle, all departments must immediately move to Stage Plenary.

Stage Plenary comes after Pre-Plenary. Pre-Plenary exists to prepare for Stage Plenary.

Nobody knows what happens next.

Wingle Status: Operational

Please remain normally concerned.

☕ A Word About Leadership

People assume the King knows what he's doing because he wears a crown. He doesn't.

Donkey knows this. The King knows Donkey knows this.

This arrangement has proved surprisingly stable.

Leadership, it turns out, is sometimes just uncertainty wearing a nicer jacket.

⭐ Reviews We Haven't Received Yet

★★★★★

"I laughed. Then I became slightly concerned."

★★★★★

"Changed my life. Unfortunately."

★★★★★

"I ordered a serious book."

★★★★★

"The Donkey was right."

"Where is Chapter 23?" — Future reader of Book 2

These reviews are completely made up. We thought it best to mention that before somebody formed a committee.

💰 An Important Royalty Announcement

Any royalties from this book will be divided equally between W. Ingle and absolutely no one.

As we don't expect there to be any royalties, everyone involved is extremely happy with this arrangement.

Nobody objected. Nobody was consulted.

Free Samples of Poor Judgement

👑 A Completely Unnecessary Extract

These are from Book 1, we think. I'm The King. Don't Ask Why. Not the other one. Probably.

Chapter 4 — The King Has An Idea

The King had an idea.

This worried everyone.

Historically, the King's ideas had resulted in three new departments, a national shortage of cake and a bridge that didn't appear to cross anything.

Donkey looked at him.

"No."

"I haven't said anything yet."

"You were about to."

The King adjusted his crown.

This was his preferred method of looking authoritative when he had absolutely no idea what he was doing.

"I think," said the King, "we need a strategy."

Donkey left.

The Department of Strategy was created that afternoon.

Nobody noticed.

🥕 Another Bit — Chapter 11 — The Carrot

The carrot hung approximately six inches in front of Donkey's nose.

Donkey walked forward.

The carrot moved forward.

Donkey stopped.

The carrot stopped.

Donkey walked forward again.

The carrot moved again.

Donkey stopped.

He thought about this.

The King smiled.

"Motivation."

Donkey turned around.

For the first time that morning, the carrot moved towards him.

The King stopped smiling.

🚨 And One We Probably Shouldn't Publish — Chapter 17 — The Button

There was a button.

It was red.

This was already a mistake.

Above it was a sign:

Universe Restart

DO NOT PRESS

Donkey stared at it.

The King stared at Donkey.

"No."

Donkey hadn't moved.

"I know what you're thinking."

Donkey continued staring at the button.

"It's decorative."

Donkey looked at the King.

Then at the button.

Then back at the King.

The King quietly moved the Strategic Cake Reserve somewhere safer.

Unfortunately, the rest of the book continues like this.

Please don't buy it.

You'll only encourage him.

Coming soon · maybe · maybe not · who knows →

And Then Things Get Worse...

Book 2

I'm Still The King book cover — a king in sunglasses and red shoes on a throne, surrounded by a donkey, a goat named Keith, two magpies and a goldfish named Tristan

Cover may or may not be canonical. Nobody asked. Nobody confirmed.

📖 Buy Book 2 On Amazon →

Or don't. It's entirely up to you. We're not the boss of you.

Is this Book 2? Nobody knows. Nobody asked for it. Nobody has confirmed it exists in any meaningful sense.

If you didn't buy Book 1, then don't buy Book 2. Or do. Or don't. We're not the boss of you. We're barely the boss of him.

What we can confirm: Donkey returns. Unfortunately, he has made a friend. His name is Keith.

Keith is an extremely small goat.

Nobody knows where Keith came from. Nobody knows why Keith is called Keith.

He apparently arrived with the name. This explanation has been accepted.

Keith has already eaten Chapter 23. Not the manuscript. The actual chapter.

Book 2 therefore goes:

Chapter 22

then

Chapter 24

There isn't even a Chapter 23 in the contents. We are committed to maintaining editorial standards.

🐐

Completely Unnecessary Extracts

👑 From Book 2 — Possibly · Unless Book 3 · Honestly Nobody's Sure

These appear to be from Book 2. We have not verified this. Verification has been referred to the Department of Deeply Important Nothing. They haven't replied.

1 — NOBODY LEARNS ANYTHING

We reviewed everything we had learned.

Keith had learned that official paper tastes better when marked urgent.

Tristan had learned nothing because Tristan already knew too much.

The Tonys had learned that disagreement is easier when nobody defines the question.

Donkey had learned that crowns are heavier than they look.

I had learned that common sense cannot be established by ministry, committees multiply when observed, and a missing chapter can still cause paperwork.

Outside, the Tonys began arguing about whether the book was finished.

Keith found the final page.

Donkey removed it from his mouth just in time.

"So what happens next?" Donkey asked.

I looked at the two crowns, the goat, the goldfish and the red string still connecting Wednesday to a teaspoon.

"Absolutely no idea."

2 — LESSONS HAVE BEEN LEARNED

The King reviewed the lessons learned.

The first lesson was that nobody should open boxes marked DO NOT OPEN.

Donkey raised a hoof.

"Counterpoint: we needed to know."

The King crossed out the first lesson.

The second lesson was that systems should be simpler.

A committee was formed to define simpler.

The King crossed out the second lesson too.

Keith ate the page.

Tristan watched.

The Tonys disagreed about whether a lesson had ever existed.

3 — THE SECOND CROWN

The second crown was placed in a locked cabinet.

Donkey had the key.

I asked why.

The Clerk said this had been agreed at the meeting.

I asked whether I had attended the meeting.

"You were there."

"Did I agree?"

"You were present."

There are differences in government that become important far too late.

That evening I found Donkey in the throne room looking at the two chairs.

There had only ever been one throne, but somebody had moved an ordinary chair beside it.

"Who put that there?" I asked.

Donkey looked at the chair.

"Nobody knows."

From the rafters, Tony disagreed with Tony.

Unfortunately, it gets worse.

Keith eats Chapter 23. Tristan the goldfish becomes dangerously influential. There are two magpies, both called Tony, and neither agrees with the other.

I'M STILL THE KING. DON'T ASK WHY.

The Official 8.17.4 Wingle Edition — W. Ingle

Please don't buy it. You'll only encourage him.

📖 Buy Book 2 On Amazon →

Or don't. It's entirely up to you. We're not the boss of you.

🎧 Now An Audiobook

Unfortunately. On Purpose.

You can now experience the whole thing being read to you. Including the parts where the King is wrong. Especially those parts.

The Donkey was not available for narration. He had opinions about this. The narrator refused to comment, on the grounds that he was busy being unnecessarily dramatic.

Listening doesn't count as reading. We're aware of this. We don't care.

Prefer to read it yourself? Fine. Traitor. It's also available as a Kindle ebook, so you have no excuse and several alternatives.

→ → "📖 Kindle · 📕 Paperback · 📚 Hardback · 🎧 Audiobook — all in one place"

I'M THE KING. DON'T ASK WHY. Audiobook →I'M STILL THE KING. DON'T ASK WHY. Audiobook →

If a link doesn't work, it's not our fault. Probably. It's probably the internet being dramatic.

🐟 And Then There's Tristan

Tristan is a goldfish. His opinion is considered extremely important.

Nobody has established what his opinion actually is.

At important meetings somebody will inevitably ask: "Has Tristan approved this?"

Tristan will swim left. Then right. Then left again.

The meeting will be postponed.

There are already discussions about appointing Tristan Minister for Something.

Nobody remembers what.

The Wingle Universe Has Begun

Book One

I'M THE KING. DON'T ASK WHY.

Book Two · Maybe

I'M STILL THE KING.

Nobody asked. Nobody confirmed. Nobody knows.

Top Secret

Book Three · Classified

I'M THE KING NOW.

The secret that everyone already knows.

Top Secret

Book cover for The Wingle Chronicles Book 4 showing a chaotic office scene with people, animals, and government department signs, titled Im the King Again Dont Ask Why

Book Four · The Wingle Chronicles

I'M THE KING AGAIN.

Same King. Same Donkey. More Departments. Much Worse Ideas.

Book Five · Probably

I'M THE KING. PROBABLY.

He's back. He brought a self-help section.

And after that? Still nobody knows.

Which, frankly, is how we got here in the first place.

🔔 This Is Not The Final Notice

The actual Official Final Notice is just below. We felt obliged to warn you, because if we didn't, you'd read the words "Final Notice" and assume it was over.

It is not over.

There is always another notice. There is always another chapter. There is always another book.

👑 Official Final Notice

Please Don't Buy This Book.

You'll only encourage him.

And if enough people encourage him... there will be another one.

Don't press it, you muppet. We know how pressing things ends.

I'm The King. Don't Ask Why.

The Official 5.62.5 Wingle Edition

Top SecretEyes Only · Do Not Circulate

🚨 Classified: The Next One

The secret that everyone already knows.

This document was not leaked. It was simply left in a very obvious place, and everyone agreed to pretend they hadn't seen it.

Top Secret

Cover recovered from an unattended file. Contents: classified. Cover artist: exonerated.

I'm The King Now

Book 3 · W. Ingle

"More Departments. More Nonsense. Same Donkey."

An entirely accurate and in no way scandalous account of how Donkey ended up running the country. Allegedly. Theoretically. In a parallel universe.

Coming Soon... We Think

Or don't. We were told not to show you this. We showed you anyway.

Nobody will confirm a date. Nobody will confirm it exists. The Donkey is understood to be "considering his options".

The public already knows. Please don't tell them again.

Buy Book 3 On Amazon →

Oh No, It's Happened AgainSooner or later · maybe · who knows →

🚨 The Wingle Chronicles · Book 4

Coming soon. Or not. Who knows.

Nobody greenlit this. It simply turned up in a very obvious place and pretended it had always been there.

Top Secret

Cover recovered from a printer that was definitely NOT READY. Cover artist: applying for leave. The Wingle Kingdom Improvement Plan: Phase 17.

I'm The King Again. Don't Ask Why.

The Wingle Chronicles · Book 4 · W. Ingle

"Same King. Same Donkey. More Departments. Much Worse Ideas."

Laughter. Bureaucracy. Absolute Nonsense.

The printer was definitely NOT READY. The book might be. Probably. Maybe.

It was always going to happen.

The same King. The same Donkey. A whole new kingdom of departments that nobody asked for, in a printer that has never been READY.

General Brassington has returned. Queen Penelope is concerned. Sir Biscuit has been promoted to Chief Morale Officer.

Gordon P. Clipboard has improved things by 17%. Nobody knows which 17%.

Mr Rule is everywhere. The Two Tonys still disagree about everything. The Wingle Kingdom Improvement Plan is now on Phase 17. It was on Phase 1 last week.

Tristan the goldfish is still very important. His opinion is still unavailable.

And Keith is still very small.

Publication date: pending · Printer status: not ready · Keith's appetite: considerable

📖 Buy Book 4 On Amazon →

Or don't. It was never going to be your decision anyway.

👑 Now Arriving · The King Has Thoughts 👑

He's Back. He Brought A Self-Help Section.

The Wingle Leadership Edition

Cover smuggled out of a boardroom. Strategically redacted. Probably.

I'm The King. Probably. Don't Ask Why.

The Official 5.62.5 Wingle Edition · W. Ingle

"A Mostly Pointless Story About Leadership, Carrots and Common Sense."

The King has decided he is a thought leader. Nobody briefed him. Nobody briefed anyone.

Somewhere between a carrot farm and a summit, between a mop and a dustpan, between three Tonys who disagree with each other on principle, our reluctant monarch has stumbled into business, legal, mediation and a small island he may or may not own.

The donkey has been promoted sideways. The Queen is still putting up with this. Keith is still a goat. Tristan has, against all odds, an opinion.

I'm The King. Probably. Don't Ask Why. is a mostly pointless illustrated story about leadership, growth, business, legal, invoices, mediation, summits, an island, a mop, a bucket, a broom, a dustpan, several Tonys, four penguins of unclear purpose, and one man in sunglasses who is absolutely, definitely, probably in charge.

Buy it. Don't buy it. Either way, you're going to be asked about a summit.

👑 Buy I'm The King. Probably. On Amazon →

Or don't. The King has already decided how this ends.

📖 Kindle · 📕 Paperback · 📚 Hardback · 🎧 Audiobook — whatever that means

Whatever that means.

🚨 Top Secret · Handle With Incompetence 🚨

A New Donkey Has Entered the Building

The Wingle Office Edition

Cover recovered from an unattended inbox. Contents: confidential. Cover artist: on annual leave.

I'm The Manager. Don't Ask Why.

W. Ingle

"A Mostly Pointless Guide to Modern Office Life"

Nobody was entirely sure why he was Manager. Least of all him.

Welcome to modern office life, where meetings create more meetings, job titles change more often than the work, broken systems are declared successful, and every problem can apparently be solved with another process.

Our accidentally promoted Manager is surrounded by an office full of people trying to survive the machinery of modern work.

There's Nadia — "Wheels" — the inconveniently competent one. Trevor and Craig — "Reset" and "Alt" — keeping IT running in mysterious ways. Gary's job title changes whenever the wind does. Malcolm has highlighters. Roland has mountains.

And Barry?

Barry is a spider.

He may be the most stable member of the organisation.

There's also a donkey. The donkey is not in charge.

Probably.

I'm the Manager. Don't Ask Why. is an absurd, painfully recognisable comedy about meetings, emails, restructures, corporate language, pointless policies, performance reviews, wellbeing initiatives, office politics and the strange things perfectly sensible people do when somebody puts them in an organisation.

📖 Buy It On Amazon →

Or don't. It's entirely up to you. We're not the boss of you.

The public already knows. Please don't tell them again.

Questions Nobody Formally Filed

Frequently Asked Questions

Answers to the things people actually ask about the Wingle Universe. The Donkey declined to comment on all of them.

What is the Wingle Universe?

A series of short, illustrated comedy books by W. Ingle about a King who is not qualified for the job and knows it, surrounded by advisers who are even less qualified and don't. There's a Donkey who is quietly the only competent one, a goat called Keith, Tristan the goldfish, a spider called Barry, General Brassington, Sir Biscuit and Gordon P. Clipboard — who has improved things by 17%, though nobody knows which 17%.

Who is W. Ingle?

The author of the Wingle Universe, published by Buy Less Crap — which is this website, a personal finance blog about ETFs, index funds and buying less stuff you don't need. Yes, the money website. Yes, nobody planned this.

About Buy Less Crap →

How many books are there?

More than I remember, which I accept is not a great answer from the publisher. The ones I can currently account for: I'm The King, I'm Still The King, I'm The King Now, The Wingle Chronicles (Book Four), I'm The King. Probably. (the 5.62.5 edition), and I'm The Manager. — the Office Edition, which I forgot to list and had to write a whole follow-up post about.

The story of the forgotten one →All five I remembered →

What's I'm The Manager. Don't Ask Why. about?

The Wingle Universe pointed at your actual job. A man gets a desk, a team, a job title nobody explained, and a wall of sticky notes held together by a colour-coded system that was explained aloud exactly once, several years ago, to somebody who has since left the company. There's also a meeting to decide what to do about the meetings. Nobody was entirely sure why he got the job. Least of all him.

Read about it →

What order should I read them in?

Any order. Each one stands up on its own, which is partly how one of them got lost in the first place. Start with I'm The King. Don't Ask Why. if you want to meet the universe — it sets up the King, the Donkey and the red button nobody must press. I'm The Manager. is the most pointed of the lot, because it's closest to your Monday.

Where can I buy them?

Book Four, The Wingle Chronicles, and I'm The Manager. are both on Amazon now — links below. Everything else is linked from each book's page on this site, in Kindle, paperback, hardback and audiobook formats.

Book Four on Amazon →I'm The Manager. on Amazon →

Are they for children?

They're illustrated and there's a donkey, so I understand the confusion. But they're written for adults who have sat in a Thursday meeting about the meeting on Friday. If you've ever watched somebody get promoted past their competence and then watched it work out exactly as badly as you predicted, these are for you.

Why are there comedy books on a money website?

Because it's the same idea pointed somewhere else. Buy Less Crap is about the gap between what things cost and what they're worth. The books apply that to institutions instead of shopping — a kingdom run on vibes, a department on Phase 17, a Chief Morale Officer. All very expensive things nobody needed, wearing a crown.

The money argument →

Still confused? Good. That's the intended state. It's listed in the documentation.

🚨 Coming Soon · A Brand New Direction 🚨

Am I Ready For This Shit?

A Survival Guide to Modern Life — In The Twatverse

By S.R. · Coming Soon On Amazon

Cover recovered from a world that has clearly lost the plot. Cover artist: applying for counselling.

Am I Ready For This Shit?

A Survival Guide To Modern Life — In The Twatverse · S.R.

"A brutally funny, painfully familiar survival guide to modern life — or, as S.R. calls it, the Twatverse."

Passwords you can't remember. Software updates that fix one thing and break three others. Bins requiring an advanced degree in waste management. Cars that know something is wrong but refuse to tell you what.

Then there's family life, children, pets, health, DIY, work, technology, customer service and the increasingly difficult task of finding somebody — anybody — who can simply answer a bloody question.

But underneath the swearing, stupidity and chaos, there's something warmer going on.

Nobody is completely ready. Nobody really knows what they're doing. We're all making it up as we go along.