⏳ Coming Soon · To Amazon
Everything Is A
Subscription Now
Including Several You Are Paying For Right Now
Nothing is bought any more. Everything is £7.99 a month, forever. You were present for the moment this happened and somehow nobody asked you, which is partly what this book is about. It is also, disappointingly, a book that will make you go and check your bank statement.
55 Short Chapters, All Of Them Your Fault
Read it and you will be cancelling something before you reach the end.
- The free trial, and the eleven months since
- A full audit of what is actually leaving your account every month
- The discovery that you are paying for three things you cannot name
- Why cancelling is deliberately harder than signing up, and who decided that
- The app you opened once, in 2021, to look at one thing
- A streaming service you keep because of one programme that left two years ago
- The £16 a month, and what it would have been worth in ten years
- A subscription for a tin of coffee that arrives faster than you drink it
- The 'manage your plan' page, which manages nothing and helps no one
- How to cancel: a step-by-step guide, written by someone who has never managed it
Also Inside
- The 'we've changed our pricing' email, and how it was received
- A chapter on the family plan, and who is actually on it
- Subscriptions you inherited when somebody left the household
- The box that arrives monthly and the guilt when it does not get opened
- Why the gym is a subscription and the bike in the shed is not
- The card that expired, the one that did not, and what survived
- A moment of silence for the thing you paid for and never once used
The Maths, Which Nobody Wants
Presented without comment, because the numbers make their own argument.
- A thing you could have bought once£24
- The same thing, as a subscription, for a year£95.88
- Three of those, for a year£287.64
- Ten years of the three of them£2,876.40
- Number of them you remember signing up for0
This chapter is why the book is funny and not comforting.
Coming Soon To Amazon
The book is finished — the listing is being sorted out now, and this page will carry the buy buttons the moment it goes live.
In the meantime there are plenty of other books — including The World's Most Boring Book About Beans, What's The Point When There Is No Point?, and a whole comedy universe featuring a King, a Donkey and a goat called Keith.